"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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