I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
