Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
