Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
