Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
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No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
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We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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