Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
