Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
