So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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