I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
