return my video game
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
