I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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