I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
