Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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