Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
