That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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