my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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