Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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