So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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