please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
