Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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