I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
