Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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