Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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