I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
nutella sex= disaster
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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