she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
