I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Randomize
