Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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