i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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