I could make wine with my vomit
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
