Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
