How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Sorry about my life...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
