you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He did a backflip because drugs
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