Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
