awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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