eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
