Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm both gender and math confused
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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