Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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