I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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