yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
