yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
