Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
