Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
