I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
This is the high leading the old right now
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
