Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Come see our sink grown plant.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
