at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
When did angry sex become our thing?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
