Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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