I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
