How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
