On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
