Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
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He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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