remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
