So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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