I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
