She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
