wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Is it because I queefed?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
