it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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