That's intense
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
