Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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