just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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