I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
