so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
